Day 23 of the Walk
In 1998 my husband and I went through a very emotional time. I was pregnant with Grace, and we had had lost a baby in 1997 so we were a little nervous about the pregnancy. I started having contractions at 3months and was put on bed rest and some medication. Then everything came crashing down. On September 3, 1998 my husband, at age 35, was diagnosed with cancer. It was a crushing blow! The next months were filled with surgery, radiation and recovery. It was weeks before the first thing I thought about each morning when I opened my eyes wasn’t cancer. And the last thing on my mind before I drifted off to sleep (when sleep was possible) was cancer.
We were very proactive. We researched treatment and medications. I would have traveled to the other side of the universe to get the best treatment for my husband. He got better, then, in 2000, while I was pregnant with Noah, his cancer returned. Everything came flooding back. Only this time the prognosis was worse because this kind of cancer is not supposed to come back.
We live a life that always has cancer tucked in the back of our minds. Every scan, every blood test creates a sense of uncertainty. We pray a lot.
This morning while I was reading, God’s word snuck up on me and sucker punched me in the stomach.
Pro 12:4 A wife with strength of character is the crown of her husband, but the wife who disgraces him is like bone cancer.
Bone cancer? Are you kidding me?
I could do something to my husband that God describes as bone cancer? Wow. Let me take a breath!
This is real serious. My character can be like bone cancer to my husband if I disgrace him. Or I can be a crown if my character has strength. I would never want to do anything to my husband that would be as painful as cancer. Yet God is clearly stating that if I disgrace him that is exactly what it is like for him.
Another thought just crossed my mind. I wear my husband’s name because I am his wife, his bride. I wear another’s name as well. Christian. I am His bride as well. What does it do to Jesus when my character disgraces Him?
I never want to ever inflict that kind of pain on my husband or my Lord. I need to take a long look at my character. I never want to disgrace my husband or my Jesus! I need to really look at my life closely.
My choices for today:
#1 Be a crown
OR
#2 Be cancer
There is only one answer I can choose.
I choose #1. I don’t do so well with cancer.
How about you? Are you carcinogenic?
Walking day 23,
Glenda Johnson
